The Terrific Taj Mahal and 'Terror'ific Touts of Agra

Taj Mahal, Agra

What a Beauty

It was a long weekend and in two hours on a smooth eight-lane expressway, we were at the Taj Mahal, one of the eight wonders of the world, the eternal symbol of love, genius architecture, blah blah. Any reason why we should not have gone? Well.... it was a long weekend. That means anyone and everyone from New Delhi, Noida and Gurgaon is trying to get away from their usually mundane, stressful lives and flee to the nearest outstation destinations, one of which,... if you want a drive less than four hours...... just happens to be Agra.

Coasting down the smooth expressway with two brats fighting in the backseat, we were treated to the sight of fancy motorcycle riders opening up their Harleys for a thrill. This is the only expressway in North India where you can have a wild ride on a hot rod without the danger of flying into the air after having sunk into a pothole/ bump or battling to weave around a million other vehicles. 

Life is a Highway, I'm Gonna Ride it all Day ....

Same goes for car drivers. However, you do have to watch out for they have cameras recording your Schumacher skills and there are cops hanging around the toll bridges waiting to catch you with sheets of paper with your car's photo and speed violation. Enjoy the journey because once you arrive in Agra and get to the parking lot of any famous monument, you will be besieged by a host of touts and people trying to take you for a less pleasant ride.

Here's one of the scenarios you can expect if you decide to make the trip on your own and not as part of a tour group. Get to the parking lot, step out of your vehicle, and within seconds you will be approached by a 'certified' guide who will quickly flash you a legal looking identity card with a monetary value of 1950 rupees printed on it and say that he is a government approved guide and for that amount of money he will manage to bypass all the lines (which are really loooooong) to get in to the premises as well as the actual structure. Friends of ours who had gone earlier, paid their guy 800 rupees. 

You jump at it because you really don't want to be standing in a queue in the heat for an hour to get in and you think that 1950 rupees is not bad for five people even though the ticket cost for Indians is 20 rupees a head (which he took extra by the way). 

Can't get Enough

Then you negotiate with the auto rickshaw fellow to take you the one or two kilometers from the parking lot to the entrance of the Taj compound and depending on how gullible or street smart you look, he will quote you a price. We paid 100 rupees. Then another fellow will offer you shoe covers. Ten rupees each for us (I keep stressing the 'for us' because the pricing is very subjective. White skin, triple). TAKE the covers. Because if you don't, you will have to stand in another line to remove your shoes to set foot on the marbled floors of the monument and the line to get in to see the tomb will be huge. Again.

This was our third trip to the Taj in three years and the first two times my hubby and I didn't even bother to go in because of the lines to enter and also because we foolishly declined the shoe covers. The guy selling them warned us that we would be sorry for refusing them, and we sure were. We knew it was going to be teeming with tourists, but it being a Sunday, caused a double whammy! The Taj Mahal itself was a majestic sight as always, but good luck to anyone who thought they could capture a worthy shot of the monument without at least four or five bodies photobombing you.

However, this time we breezed in, bypassed all the lines everywhere, felt sorry for poor suckers sweating it out but were really pleased with our situation. the 1950 bucks were so worth it. 

Had to get the reflection pic

The guide, rambling on in broken English was more for the convenience of getting in wait-free rather than for his actual information services, though we did get a few very interesting nuggets of information about how the British basically came and looted all the precious gems and solid gold structures like the doors and spirals and replaced them with colored stones and brass. The lawns, full of fruit trees were leveled out and replaced by non-fruit bearing trees etc.

The Taj Mahal is a white marble mausoleum of immense beauty built at a staggering cost of 32 million rupees by Shah Jahan, the fifth Mughal emperor. He commissioned the monument as a tribute to his beloved wife (one of three) Mumtaz Mahal, who died giving birth to his 14^th child. Wow, I'm having a wild time handling just two. The Taj Mahal, commissioned in 1631 was completed in 1648 and the surrounding buildings and gardens were finished in 1653. Built on the banks of the Yamuna river, it's just amazing the thought and architectural detail and opulence that went into it. The marble had inlay work of flowers and designs with stones such as jade, jasper, lapis lazuli and turquoise. All the precious stuff was apparently scraped out by the Brits (damn, those guys really did a number on it) and was replaced by other materials during restoration.

Mosque. Friday Prayers are Held Here

The minarets on all four corners are inclined slightly so that in the event of an earthquake they will fall away and not on the main structure, which, as it is built on a river bed, will be protected by the fluid base. Everything is in perfect symmetry and even the inscriptions on the structure are larger on the top so as to be seen at almost the same size from afar. The stone inlay work shines in the moonlight and the Taj apparently looks pinkish at dawn, white at noon and had a golden hue at dusk. Am going to have to make another couple of trips for the pink and gold views.

The only thing out of symmetry is the cenotaph, or empty tomb, of Shah Jahan which is placed on the left side of Mumtaz Mahal's (the actual bodies are buried a floor below apparently). That's because Shah Jahan was going to build a black monument for himself on the other side of the river but after he fell ill, was overthrown and imprisoned by his son Aurangzeb who had absolutely no desire to humor pops. In fact, he kept him imprisoned in the Agra Fort diagonally across the Taj and the poor guy stared at his beloved monument from a particular angle through...a DIAMOND..for nine years till he died. Then he got unceremoniously dumped next to his wife, destroying the perfect symmetry of his creation. Ouch. Do not piss off your kids.

Across The River, the Site Where the Black Monument Was to Be

After touring the Taj, our guide's work was not over. He led us through the south, or labor gate into a bazaar that apparently is used to sucker the unknowing out of their life savings. India being the dichotomous country it is, right next to the symbol of perfection and opulence, you're exposed to utter dilapidation within which stalls of vendors are hawking gimmicky trinkets, souvenirs and small marble replicas of the Taj at a kings ransom (you need to bargain seriously hard). Through the eyes of my young son, the place looked like it was 'war hit'.

Anyway, these guides will take you to all the shops they have loot-sharing agreements with. We ended up buying some hugely overpriced `pethas', an Indian sweet comprising of white pumpkin cooked in sugar syrup, but refused to buy anything at the horrendously priced marble store he took us to. We already had an idea of which restaurant we were going to for lunch, but I made the mistake of asking him how good it was. He of course suggested another, the Taj Mahal restaurant, insisted it was the best, accompanied us there, and it turned out to be another tourist trap with people from all countries eating there. No locals, average food, high prices. We were looking for more authentic cuisine. It's really hard to shake off these fellows, especially if you're the polite, decent sort.

Agra Fort Diagonally Across Where Shah Jahan was Imprisoned

Every time we've gone to Agra, we've been had in a different way. The last time we even visited Fatehpur Sikri, the 16^th century city built by the third and greatest Mughal emperor Akbar, about an hours drive from the city, and that was something else. Amazing monument, horrendously aggressive touts and hawkers. They saw us approaching the toll bridge, about a kilometer or so from the fort, the minute we slowed down, one 'guide' approached our car, literally dove in through the open window, threw his identity card in my lap and said to follow him as he and another fellow went ahead on a bike. Drove to the parking lot where he basically convinced us that we would get a great deal with him otherwise we would be paying three times more (that's their marketing genius) and basically ripped us off nice and proper.

First they take you to these people selling squares of cloth and strings and say you need to tie a string to the grate and make a wish. We were told to buy the cloth for 4000 rupees each (we were four of us) which would be placed over a holy shrine and the money would go to educate the poor and that all our wishes would be granted. We bargained it down to 2000 and bought just one, and later found out from a relative that they paid just 200 rupees for it. We obviously have large neon signs on our foreheads saying BIG TIME SUCKERS! Then he took us to a room where a fellow stood with a large broom and a gleam in his eye. Pray for your mother, put money down, whack, Broom descends on your back. Your children, money, whack. Your husband, money, whack. See where I'm going? 

Some of the Work on the Walls

I must say, these guys must have a degree in psychology, because they can sniff out the gullible and really work on their weakness! Anyway, after being dogged from the beginning of the stairs to the end of our tour by extremely persistent hawkers peddling stuff from pens to key chains and the like, I was ready to bite someone. Practically foaming at the mouth I literally snarled at someone who had been following us for at least 10 minutes trying to make us buy his wares, to back off. Was soooo happy to get back in the car.

Fatehpur Sikri

Gigantic Bee Hives on One of the Outside Domes in Fatehpur Sikri

This is pretty much the situation in most popular tourist spots in India which you would experience if not part of an organized tour group. But if you really want the real deal,...and a wild amount of writing material,... and not just a sanitized view, you gotta do it our way. Of course, learn from my experiences. Am sure I will be back in Agra and will be taken for a ride again! Till then...... adios. 

PS..The Taj Mahal is closed on Fridays.